Eyelids heavy
Snuggled in
Resting safely
Near mama’s chin
Fingers tangled
In mama’s hair
It’s hard to let go
But mama’s there
She scoops me up
We sway slowly
She kisses my head
In moments holy
She lays me down
And tucks me in
My mama loves me
I sleep with a grin


Be small and
compliant
Just be quiet
The men are talking
about how to
make you matter
even less
Your body isn’t right
never will be
but maybe if you
shrink it
stretch it
dye it
Pretend you’ve never lived
and you won’t
if they have anything
to do with it
Your vessel belongs
to literally anyone
but you
Don’t ask for help
You’re meant to suffer
Carry it all
Stuff it all down
but smile
while you do it
Because your suffering
is unbearable
to watch
Suffer prettily
with pouty lips
Daddy issues, huh?
Extra fuckable
As if they won’t be
the dads who cause
the issues
we can’t express
for fear of saying
the quiet part
out loud
They fuck us up
to fuck us
while we close
the closet door
to cry quietly enough to

Just be

©2021


Thin layers of ice
form over open water
One cold day
and then another
and something so
vast and wide
and deep and alive —
buried beneath layers
so thick
you can walk all over it
You can walk all over her

One brick at a time
a wall is built
One row
and then another
and something so
wild and free
and open and raw — 
buried beneath a facade
so deep
you can no longer see it
You can no longer see her

©2009


sometimes i drive on back roads
just to see how high the dust will fly
and sometimes i’m too reckless
and i have no reason why

sometimes i’m impulsive
and i don’t regret mistakes
and sometimes i will push you
just to see how much it takes

sometimes i think too much
and others not enough
and sometimes i get sick of you
well baby ain't that rough

sometimes i laugh real hard
at no one but myself
and sometimes i don't believe in grammar
or syllables or rhyming

sometimes i like a challenge
‘cause i like to prove you wrong
others, i don’t care what you think
you can never be that strong

sometimes i am not enough
that’s all that i can be
and sometimes i still skin my knees
but baby i feel free

©2009


She is
liminal space
Not here
but not nowhere
She is energy — 
infinite and indestructible
Spirit and stardust
She is what happens next — 
nothing and everything
Magic and moonbeams
She is that word
on the tip of your tongue
Close and far
The smell of spring
carried on a breeze
Presence and absence
She is.


her childhood stolen
robbed of her dreams
forced to grow up
her eyes lost their gleam

the weight of the world
bearing down on her shoulders
"you're not worth a thing"
was all that they told her

making decisions
no child should make
they all had betrayed her
how much could she take?

is love a lie?
is love alive?

packed up her things
and moved far away
she tried to start over
but could she escape?

the hurt and the hatred
she felt from the start
were hard to erase
they were etched on her heart

it took many years
and many mistakes
but immeasurable worth
she just couldn't shake

is love a lie?
is love alive?

©2009


There’s a restlessness, a weariness
In my bones, in my soul

Flying under overpasses
Like memories across my mind

Bare feet on dashboards
The first cool evening of summer

Cicadas buzzing in the darkness
Breaking stillness that penetrates deep

Fleeting moments
Reminders

©2009


Deep in my heart
I carry The Ache
Of lifetimes
Together
Apart
A part of you in me
And me in them
Beating hearts
Still stop
My hand and yours
Now and then not
I hold it all

©2020


I am not a dainty woman
I rage and curse the sky
howling myself hoarse at the moon
I pour out the blood
of the lost ones
into the dusty earth
making altars to lives
no one remembers
I cut deep wounds
to leave marks
only I will run my fingers over

©2021


I hadn’t seen her face
in a decade
but there it was
staring back at me
It was so familiar—
the smile lines
and crows feet
the weariness that comes
from running on fumes
the contented half smile
It was so rare I thought of
those details
anymore
Yet there they were
staring back at me
in my bathroom mirror

©2021

Sabine Rose

Type A wild woman, photography lover, motherer, over-thinker, potty mouth, always learning

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store